"Blood Angels" is a poignant coming of age story, a bildungsroman if you will, of young, naive Ashley. Ashley, haunted by the memories of her abusive father, travels to whatever part of Iowa necessitates being referred to as "urban," to live with her older sister Leslie and Leslie's club-owning friends. During a rave commemorating the winter solstice, she meets and falls for Jim, a strapping, young farm lad. Ashley realizes that while it might be confusing, and often times scary, growing up is a necessary evil.
Nah, I'm just joking, "Blood Angels" is a crappy vampire flick starring Lorenzo Lamas.
So we meet Ashley at a bus station. Right from the start we know she is a total nerd; she has pigtails and wears one of those vest-jackets. She is attacked by a gang of hooligans that get their comeuppance when Leslie, Ashley's hotter, more sharply dressed sister, inexplicably karate chops the hell out of the no-good-nicks.
Long story short, Leslie and her sisterhood of "thralls" (one who is in between a vampire and a human) own a club and are always on guard against their evil vampire captor, Mr. Jones. Lots of stuff happens and Ashley ultimately becomes a vampire. Her transformation, most unsubtly her "coming of age," results in instantly crimped hair, a pound of makeup, a hot corset, and her very own set of boobs.
This movie felt like a crappy TV series more than a full length motion picture. There were instances that seemed to pause for commercial breaks, and Mr. Jones appeared to be a ripoff of the title character from "Angel." The special effects looked lazily put together, and the ending felt rushed.
Having said my bit, this movie held my interest and entertained me. The bad acting--particularly Lorenzo Lamas' "sound effects" he seems to believe bats and vampires would make--got a few giggles out of me.
Basically, compared to our last few films, this movie was fun. This is the sort of movie Zach and I expected to review for our blog. If you are lazing around on a Sunday afternoon and see this silly vampire flick on USA or TNT, check it out. A film such as this helps you forget your stresses and just allows you to laugh at how much of a struggle reading lines can be for Mr. Lamas.
Stay tuned for next week, Zach and I review a reader-recommended film!
"Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them." - Pauline Kael
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