'Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys' - Zach's Take

Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys is astoundingly mediocre. Considering the other movies we've reviewed so far, that should come as high praise. It's neither completely boring nor a cheese-filled good time. It's just kinda...meh.

I mean, Corey Feldman is clearly in on the joke, chewing each and every scene he's in with an awful raspy voice and hammy over-acting. But everyone else is well, frankly forgettable. Not that I was expecting Oscar-winning performances, but still.

The real problem with this film, which is not uncommon for the celluloid trash in the horror category, is that it fails to live up to its name. It should have been called Relatives of the Main Guy from the first 'Puppet Master' Versus the Daughter of the Guy from the First 'Demonic Toys'. It's a little long, but hey, it's also a little more honest.

The puppets (who are actually pretty cool) have a total of about five minutes of screen time in this whole thing. In fact, I think the demonic toys have more presence and relevance to the plot than the puppets do. Which is just wrong.

Let's also consider the body count for this thing. Any respectable cheesy horror flick has a body count of at least four or five (but as we all know, the more the better). Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys has no main cast deaths. Not a single person with more than fifteen seconds of screen time is killed in this movie. Come on! It's not that hard!

On the plus side, there is a cool make up job for the demon Bael, but surprise! He 's barely in this.

Overall, the sheer mediocrity of this film almost paradoxically means you should stay away. Yeah, I know I said it was a better film than the others we've done. But this isn't a so-bad-it's-good trainwreck like C Me Dance or The Room. Nope, it's just bland made-for-TV Sci-Fi Channel garbage.

As always, email us at cinematicfacepalm@gmail.com with any suggestions for films you want us to review. And don't forget to post your thoughts in the comments!