Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys is astoundingly mediocre. Considering the other movies we've reviewed so far, that should come as high praise. It's neither completely boring nor a cheese-filled good time. It's just kinda...meh.
I mean, Corey Feldman is clearly in on the joke, chewing each and every scene he's in with an awful raspy voice and hammy over-acting. But everyone else is well, frankly forgettable. Not that I was expecting Oscar-winning performances, but still.
The real problem with this film, which is not uncommon for the celluloid trash in the horror category, is that it fails to live up to its name. It should have been called Relatives of the Main Guy from the first 'Puppet Master' Versus the Daughter of the Guy from the First 'Demonic Toys'. It's a little long, but hey, it's also a little more honest.
The puppets (who are actually pretty cool) have a total of about five minutes of screen time in this whole thing. In fact, I think the demonic toys have more presence and relevance to the plot than the puppets do. Which is just wrong.
Let's also consider the body count for this thing. Any respectable cheesy horror flick has a body count of at least four or five (but as we all know, the more the better). Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys has no main cast deaths. Not a single person with more than fifteen seconds of screen time is killed in this movie. Come on! It's not that hard!
On the plus side, there is a cool make up job for the demon Bael, but surprise! He 's barely in this.
Overall, the sheer mediocrity of this film almost paradoxically means you should stay away. Yeah, I know I said it was a better film than the others we've done. But this isn't a so-bad-it's-good trainwreck like C Me Dance or The Room. Nope, it's just bland made-for-TV Sci-Fi Channel garbage.
As always, email us at cinematicfacepalm@gmail.com with any suggestions for films you want us to review. And don't forget to post your thoughts in the comments!
Showing posts with label satan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satan. Show all posts
Saturday, July 3, 2010
"Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys" - Maria's Take
So, this was the best movie we have screened so far. There was nothing blatantly offensive, it had Corey Feldman in it, and the story had a beginning, middle, and end; though it did leave open the possibility for a sequel.
It was so boring.
It started out surprisingly decent. I found some of the gags funny and even kind of clever. The storyline was well defined, the acting wasn't as atrocious as we've seen in other films, and while the effects are awful, this film was not comparable to the over the top train wrecks that Zach and I have subjected ourselves to through this little experiment. This film just couldn't hold my interest.
About fifteen minutes into the film, Zach and I started discussing the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, "Jingle All the Way." We both put on our worst impressions and made the other laugh; all the while, Mr. Feldman was emoting something terrible in the background. That's right, you heard it here folks, our discussion on Jake Lloyd and Turboman entertained us more than this film ever could.
Like I said, there wasn't anything specifically wrong with this movie, it just wasn't fun to watch. Some of the exposition was unclear to me, but I blame that more on not having seen the previous films in this series rather than any fault made by the writer or director.
There was some truly awful dubbing, but nothing appalling--except maybe the fact that Corey Feldman's career has sunk so low he is now doing Sy Fy continuations of a film series few have seen. The man was in License to Drive for God's sake!
Zach just mentioned to me that David Goyer wrote this film. I guess that's tragic, but I find it more tragic that David Goyer keeps getting work. Sure, he is a good idea man, but that doesn't mean he is anything special when it comes to dialogue.
See what I mean about this film? Instead of discussing Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys, I am instead breaking down the missteps of Goyer's career.
Overall, this movie is bad. It has no endearing characters, few exciting moments, and no camp. What draws viewers to later installments within franchises in the novelty value. This film has nothing to offer.
Go watch Jason X instead, it's great--he's in space.
It was so boring.
It started out surprisingly decent. I found some of the gags funny and even kind of clever. The storyline was well defined, the acting wasn't as atrocious as we've seen in other films, and while the effects are awful, this film was not comparable to the over the top train wrecks that Zach and I have subjected ourselves to through this little experiment. This film just couldn't hold my interest.
About fifteen minutes into the film, Zach and I started discussing the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, "Jingle All the Way." We both put on our worst impressions and made the other laugh; all the while, Mr. Feldman was emoting something terrible in the background. That's right, you heard it here folks, our discussion on Jake Lloyd and Turboman entertained us more than this film ever could.
Like I said, there wasn't anything specifically wrong with this movie, it just wasn't fun to watch. Some of the exposition was unclear to me, but I blame that more on not having seen the previous films in this series rather than any fault made by the writer or director.
There was some truly awful dubbing, but nothing appalling--except maybe the fact that Corey Feldman's career has sunk so low he is now doing Sy Fy continuations of a film series few have seen. The man was in License to Drive for God's sake!
Zach just mentioned to me that David Goyer wrote this film. I guess that's tragic, but I find it more tragic that David Goyer keeps getting work. Sure, he is a good idea man, but that doesn't mean he is anything special when it comes to dialogue.
See what I mean about this film? Instead of discussing Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys, I am instead breaking down the missteps of Goyer's career.
Overall, this movie is bad. It has no endearing characters, few exciting moments, and no camp. What draws viewers to later installments within franchises in the novelty value. This film has nothing to offer.
Go watch Jason X instead, it's great--he's in space.
Labels:
christmas,
corey feldman,
david goyer,
demonic toys,
evil,
satan
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)