"Friday the 13th Part 5" - Maria's Take

No. Just no.

Jason Vorhees is the man (zombie? monster? entity?) that made me love slasher movies. He is a legend and a kick-ass bad guy. He's been drowned, lit on fire, shot, hanged, punched, kicked, etc. and yet, he lives.

Oh wait, no he doesn't.

Part 4 of the series is called "The Final Chapter," and yet we have a Part 5? Well, Jason has a way of surviving, so that's doable...I'm so pumped to see how he is resurrected and zombified! Hold on a second, that hockey mask doesn't look like the iconic one that good ol' Jason wears! Something is amiss.

To steal the slogan from "Suspira's" trailer: "The only thing lamer than the last 15 minutes of this movie are the first 77..." In case you haven't already deduced, Jason Vorhees is not in this film. Don't worry, it's not really a spoiler. IMDB summarizes: "While Jason lies unconscious, a local man decides to use Jason's old M.O. and wreaks havoc at a halfway house for troubled teens."

I think the original plan was actually pretty decent. Tommy Jarvis, played brilliantly in the fourth film by Corey Feldman, is now suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, and is released into a halfway house. Unfortunately, John Shepherd, this film's Tommy Jarvis has neither the acting chops of a young Corey Feldman, nor the likability. Instead, he is whiny, annoying, and forgettable. Jarvis keeps having flashes of Jason, in mirrors, in hallways, etc. So when the kids at the halfway house wind up brutally murdered, Jarvis of course believes Jason has risen from the dead and is seeking his very specific style of revenge. Had this been the case, the movie would have been watchable. Unfortunately, the killer is a copycat. I won't spoil the end, but the only think more stupid than the identity of the killer is the motive.

So much of this movie is not only forgettable, but the little moments that do stick out are unforgivable. There are no aspects of the "Friday the 13th" franchise left (aside from Jarvis' character and the fore-mentioned copycat hockey mask). There is no Crystal Lake, there are no stock characters, rather, as with "Halloween 3," the franchise was attempting something different, and failed miserably.

However, having said all that, this film has a few funny moments, but the kills are dumb and the storyline is painful.

The 6th film of the series is like an apology for this load of crap. It gets back to the roots of the franchise. Go watch that one, or the fourth one, or ANY other film in the series...just don't waste your time on this garbage.