"Miss Conception" - Zach's Take

Miss Conception makes a great case for forced sterilization.

There's your poster quote, right there.

Seriously, I know I'm not the target demographic for this type of film, but I can at least recognize when they are well-made (such as Love Actually) or at least funny (again, Love Actually) but this is just a mess. The comedic timing is always off, jokes that might have worked in more capable hands fall completely and utterly flat. The characters are the worst kind of people; selfish, vapid, irresponsible, simply impossible to care about. I sat there, watching this junk, wondering why the filmmakers thought that I should care that this terrible human being wants to reproduce. The first thing we see Heather Graham's character do is push her boyfriend out of bed because she doesn't want to get up to answer the phone. Which is a perfect illustration of her character I suppose, but that doesn't make me want to follow her around for an hour and a half.

What's more, she's also terribly shallow. Her sole ambition in life is to have a child. Putting aside society's tendency to romanticize having children, should that be anyone's singular pursuit? Especially when the only reason for having the child is simply because time is almost up, not because of a strong desire to start a family.

Now, I may be over-analyzing this movie (I am) but I really want to stress just how stupid it really is. Heather Graham's character orders semen over the internet and almost impregnates herself with it. She doesn't even go to a sperm bank. Instead, she gets the stuff delivered right to her door. How does she know that its coming from a reputable source and not just some dude in his basement? The only reason why she doesn't go through with it is because her mother surprises her with a birthday cake and she shoots it out of the syringe in shock. Should we really be rooting for a person who is so desperate to get pregnant that she will get sperm online?

Aside from the awful script, the director clearly had no idea what kind of movie he wanted to make. One moment it feels like its attempting to be a drama, the next, a romantic comedy. But it never quite feels right because its shot like an episode of CSI. Super-saturated, blown-out. It really is a truly ugly film. Both in terms of the cinematography and the message conveyed.

I've already spent too much energy on this stupid, stupid film . Let's just leave it at the fact that this production recursively demonstrates why some people should never reproduce: the kid might grow up and make a movie like Miss Conception.

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