When a film does so much wrong and so very little right, where does one begin in reviewing it?
Nothing But Trouble is perhaps one of the most unpleasant cinematic experiences of all time. Forget Saw, or Hostel, or A Serbian Film. Nevermind any of the 70's and 80's exploitation "classics" like The Last House on the Left, Cannibal Holocaust or I Spit on Your Grave. Nothing But Trouble is a truly grueling experiment in the endurance and perseverance of the audience. It mercilessly and humorlessly aims to torture the viewers in a sadistic display of grime and filth.
Did I mention that it aims to be a comedy?
The story of the film is quite simple. Chris (Chevy Chase) and Diane (Demi Moore) set out for Atlantic City from New York in attempt to do something or rather and meet some guy who neither person likes for reasons that are only semi-explained. Through a series of mishaps (and dumb character decisions) the two end up in a creepy house in Valkenvania, New Jersey. Some stuff happens, none of which is entertaining or remotely funny, and then the movie ends. Oh yeah, and the Justice of the Peace's nose looks like a penis.
That's how I imagine Dan Aykroyd pitched this picture.
This film marks both the debut and departure of Dan Aykroyd as a director. I suspect that after Ghostbusters II succeeded at the box office, someone in Hollywood felt that Aykroyd deserved a chance to bring his unrestrained vision to the lowly masses. That person was clearly a sadist, because the few people who saw this film (it bombed at the box office, understandably) paid dearly. In fact, I have one friend who mentioned to me that the only girl who ever cheated on him was the one whom he took to see Nothing But Trouble on their first date.
The biggest issue with Nothing But Trouble is that there are no jokes in the film. When I described it as humorless, I wasn't exaggerating. The height of the wit on display here is the fact that the judge has a penis nose. That's it. Every scene is just full of obnoxious shouting and aggravatingly stupid decision-making. This film might've worked if there happened to be more than just lowbrow junk. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some uptight prig. I love a good fart joke. But if the humor is going to eschew cleverness in favor of lowest common denominator type stuff, then at least make an attempt to challenge the audience. South Park does it. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia does it. Even with their gross-out humor, they always have a point to make. I can kind of see the hint of indictment of the U.S. justice system going on here, but it never delves deep enough and it certainly is never funny.
The last infuriating thing about Nothing But Trouble is the sheer waste of talent on display. Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, John Candy. Hell, even The Thing and Jurassic Park cinematographer Dean Cundey are doing essentially nothing worthwhile. The only somewhat-decent thing is the make-up effects, which are done pretty well. But they're certainly nothing that hasn't been done before or better in other films.
Little known fact: hip hop group Digital Underground appear as themselves and waste our time with an interminably-long music sequence for no reason relevant to the plot. Know who was a member of Digital Underground? Tupac Shakur. Now I think we know the real reason behind his murder...
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