"Airline Disaster" -Maria's Take

*Spoiler Alert*

The title is misleading. The "disaster" never happens...well, maybe when the investors threw money at Asylum to make yet another "contribution" to the film industry (ayuck ayuck).

Anyway, this movie is just bad. I don't know what I expected. I guess i thought this would be a "guilty pleasure" bad movie. One that was so bad it was funny. However, this movie just drags. Basically, this brand new Concorde-style plane is taking its maiden voyage. Little do the passengers know, the Aryan Brotherhood (take THAT political correctness) plans to hijack the plane to steal some bonds on board. Is that really the best Asylum could do? I can understand the Aryan Brotherhood, nobody likes them, they are a safe villian. However, they want to steal bonds? There is no political agenda, nothing the least bit controversial, and to top it all off, the villains are stupid. A lot of this felt like a ripoff of the original Die Hard. But where Hans Gruber is cunning, a truly worthy adversary, these bad guys make countless mistakes and it is just embarrassing to watch.

While the plane is being hijacked, the president, played by TV's Meredith Baxter (again with the political correctness), seeks the best way to deal with the Aryan Brotherhood's demands. Just for good measure, the screenwriters' (yes, plural, there were 3 actually) made the plane's pilot the president's brother. See what they did there? They reversed that ol' damsel in distress business. It is a really progressive movie (facepalm). Anyway, the president and her pilot-brother keep talking in code, using shared childhood memories to communicate. The problem with this bit of sentimentalizing is that the audience is isolated from this bit of reminiscing. I guess it isn't that important, but it just felt very lazy.

Long story short, after the plane nearly crashes in Richmond, Virginia (again, the filmmakers were trying to keep this as nonthreatening a movie as possible), it lands safely in a river near Washington, DC. Before safely landing however, it does take the the top off of the Washington monument. And, because of this movie's ridiculous social/political correctness, I cannot help but think this is some act of feminism... Ultimately, everyone is happy and the country is saved. Blah. Blah. Blah.

My biggest problem with this film as a whole, is it lacks sincerity. It is so drowned in its own smugness (lady president, lady air marshal, man in distress) that it makes it lame to watch. Film and literary archetypes should be the key factors in a film like this. I want misogynistic military guys acting tough, I want smart villains, I want gratuitous violence! A movie called "Airline Disaster" should not be the medium for one to stand on a soapbox and preach social progression.