"Mister Wrong" - Maria's Take

At least the title applies. Everything about this movie is just oh so wrong. And yes, before I really deconstruct the magnificent stink of this movie, let's get the pink elephant in the room out there. Yes, this movie stars Ellen DeGeneres as a romantic female lead opposite Bill Pullman. The irony is astounding. Now, moving on...

The casting director should rethink their day job. Not only was the chemistry between Ellen and Bill Pullman just awful, the chemistry between every character was just nonexistent. The only person cast appropriately was the horse leading Ellen into the sunset at the end.

I could spend some time pointing out every stupid cliche that this movie wasted my time with; but, I feel like it would be a better service to humanity to focus on my biggest problem with this movie as a whole. It did not make any damn sense. I don't mean that characters made choices without motive (which they did). This movie lacked any semblance of a cohesive story. This movie would make David Lynch frustrated and confused. "Mullholland Drive" looks like a freaking model of solid, cohesive story structure compared to this piece of shit. (David Lynch confuses me in case that wasn't coming across).

All the confusion really falls upon Bill Pullman's character "Whitman." He is this rich dude who seduces Ellen at a bar. He seems all charming and perfect until she tells him he should feel comfortable enough to be himself. He then starts stalking her, stealing things, and forcing himself into her life. The movie gets weird and creepy about a half hour in, and suddenly the light, rom-com mood shifts pretty drastically into a dark comedy. Well, I use the term "comedy" loosely.

This movie seemed to give up on itself about halfway through. Joan Cusack plays this bizarre ex-girlfriend who really is just a deus ex machina from the writers. This points offers me a nice segue into another concern with this stupid movie. As a former film student, I could hear the screenwriter in every single line. Now, this might seem like a stupid statement, but good lines make people forget they are watching a movie. Good lines are immersive. Not a single line in "Mister Wrong" had depth. Every attempt was so dripping with self-love by the writer that the whole film felt like a bad senior thesis.

I handpicked next week's disaster myself. I watched it before having seen this Ellen DeGeneres jewel. I made the presumptuous declaration that "The Box" was the worst movie I had ever seen. Enter "Mister Wrong."

But don't fret, "The Box" still sucks something terrible. It actually kept me awake one night with its putrescent funk. So, look forward to that!